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“Uh…cough cough…cough cough cough…”
Yu Tuan’er once again brought a basin of hot water. The man was sitting on the edge of the bed, supporting Tang Lici who kept vomiting. He was covered in cold sweat. He had been vomiting since he kicked that man out just now, and he had started to vomit food. and water, and gradually vomited out even blood. Now I have nothing to vomit, and I still keep retching. Yu Tuan’er noticed that he looked strange and broke in. Tang Lici was speechless. He didn’t say a word except for vomiting and coughing. The man kept wiping him with a hot towel, but his clothes were quickly soaked with cold sweat. The weather was cold in winter, and it felt terribly cold to the touch, as if the person under the clothes had no warmth at all.
“He…what happened to him? He won’t die, right?” Yu Tuan’er was frightened and asked that person in a low voice. The one who wiped him silently, was she the one who was intimidated and hurt, right? Why does this violent and sadistic man look more like the victim than she does? He looked more like… dying than she did? He…he…
What does he want in his heart…what does he want from her so that he won’t be hurt? Could it be that he became like this because she was unwilling to obey, to love him sincerely, and to die for him? The circles under her eyes were sour. How could anyone be so domineering, so crazy, so selfish, so cruel? But…but he is so crazy and fragile, which makes people completely unable to let go…
It’s like a child… who is trying his best to win the attention of the person he likes… so desperate, so whimsical, so shy and so humble and pitiful, so fragile that he seems to die if he is not taken seriously.
The tears welling up in his eyes, you…you…are so fragile, but what hurts you most is not your vulnerability, but the person you want to win attention from, which is not me at all.
Really? Whose care do you want, and whose love do you want to “die for you”?
I feel like that’s not me at all.
The tears rolled down my cheeks. I dare not love you at all, because you will never love me. But every time you do something that hurts me, why do I always feel sad and disappointed? ? No matter how clearly I think about it, I will always be disappointed. I think…that’s because I see that you are good to others and protect others, but you want to hurt me. I feel…very unwilling, right?
Her eyes gradually became gentle as she looked at Tang Lici, and she changed a towel in the bucket. Whose substitute do you think I am? Who is sorry for you, who doesn’t care about you and pamper you, and makes you so sad and disappointed?
She thought…she had touched the hole in Tang Lici’s heart, but…she couldn’t save him.
“That sister! Touch here, it’s very strange.” Yu Tuan’er was pulling Tang Lici’s clothes to change him into a clean coat. When she pressed her abdomen, she felt A weird thing, a little harder than ordinary people. The woman stretched out her hand and pressed lightly. The lump was about the size of a fist. When she pressed hard, Tang Lici frowned and broke into a cold sweat. Although he didn’t speak, it must have been very painful.
This was the thing that she had taken a look at, but didn’t think it was human. After pondering for a long time, she asked Yu Tuan’er to go out, closed the door, and untied Tang Lizi’s clothes. Tang Lizi’s skin was soft and smooth, but there were many scars on her exposed skin, newer scars. There were two in total, and many old wounds came from nowhere. After untying her clothes, she pressed gently, and the mass was buried deep in her belly. Tang Lici’s clothes were half unbuttoned, and her long silver-gray hair flowed down her side. The martial arts practitioner’s body had strong muscles and even curves, without a single trace. Fat. Perhaps due to vomiting, Tang Lici remained motionless and allowed herself to be manipulated. Her eyelashes occasionally trembled slightly but did not open.
She wiped off the cold sweat on his body, changed into a clean middle coat, sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him silently for a long time, with thousands of thoughts passing through her heart and indescribable fatigue. And confused. “Young Master Tang.” She whispered, “You… may have had some kind of change in your heart.” Tang Lici closed her eyes and remained motionless, as if she didn’t hear anything at all. She continued, “It…maybe more terrifying than Brother Shen’s stab wound.”
Tang Lizi remained motionless, but she knew that he was not delirious. After waiting for a while, Tang Lizi still didn’t answer. She tried her best to ask softly, “What’s wrong? Do you feel sad?” He raised his hand, summoned up the courage to gently place it on Tang Lici’s head, and slowly stroked his long gray hair.
Tang Lizi’s right hand moved slightly. She stopped and watched as the five fingers of his right hand spread out and firmly grasped her sleeve. He didn’t open his eyes, he just held on tightly, the veins on the back of his snow-white hands were tight, as if he was trying to hold on with all his strength, as if he would die immediately if he didn’t hold on to something firmly.
She said no more and sat quietly with him.
The sky was getting dark, and the dusk sunlight slowly came from the window, shining on her light cyan embroidered shoes. The luster of the embroidery thread shone with an old and soft luster.
Night slowly fell, the whole room became dark, and each other’s faces gradually became unclear.
Tang Lici still held her sleeve firmly. She listened to his breathing suddenly become rapid. The rapid and disordered breathing lasted for a while, “Why didn’t it jump?”
He said something, but she didn’t understand it at all, “What…stop dancing?”
His breathing became more irritable and anxious, “Why doesn’t it jump…” The man looked at him blankly. She didn’t know what he was talking about. His hands tightened more and more, “It’s so strange… so strange.” …”
He said “so strange” over and over again. She didn’t know what he thought was strange. She slowly raised her hand, gently landed on his head again, and stroked his long hair for the second time. This time he felt even more scared, but if she didn’t do something, maybe… maybe he would collapse?
It’s so strange…why do things that you never think will change always change? There are very few things to believe in, but they always…always…will go bad or disappear… Tang Lizi tightly grasped the sleeve with her right hand and raised her left hand to press her eyes. Why don’t they love him? He is their biological child…but they always wish he never existed…Why is Fu Zhumei better? I never thought about it, and I still don’t think about it until now… Why did Ah Yan become bad… Why did Fang Zhou die… Why did Chi Yun die…
It’s so strange…why doesn’t even Fang Zhou’s heart beat?
He has worked so hard, he has done everything he can…why hasn’t he managed to hold on to anything?
A warm hand fell on his forehead, and he did not avoid it.
“I… think… I can’t understand what you are thinking, right?” The man whispered, “Actually, I often feel that I am only one step away from understanding you, but this step is always “Very, very far away. What are you wondering about when you say it’s strange?” Her hand slowly left his long hair, “I often feel strange, what is natural coquettishness, and why is it so attractive?” There will be men I don’t know who will like me… I am very reluctant, I have always been very reluctant, and I am also afraid, but no one has ever wanted to know what I think. Many people say they love me, but they can’t tell how good I am. Where; there are people who have gone bankrupt for me, abandoned their wives and daughters for me, and even died for me…but he just treats me as a female slave. If he just wants a female slave, what difference does it make between me and someone else? “She sighed faintly, “I feel very empty. Everything that has happened over the years has made me feel very tired, but no matter how many people I know and how many of them are very friendly to me, still… no one wants me. Do you know what I feel in my heart?” She said, and then gently stroked Tang Lici’s long hair, “Am I acting too calm? I don’t think I should complain, maybe it’s the most painful thing. It’s the men who are seduced by my face. They work hard for me and even die for me. I owe them, so I can’t complain. I should try my best to be nice to them and try my best to prevent them from feeling angry and disappointed. …” Her voice stopped, and after a while, she said slowly, “I keep taking care of people. When I meet this one, I take care of this one, and when I meet that one, I take care of that one… And in the hearts of men, I am first A slave, and then a prostitute.”