海草舞让人来跳，其实好看程度也就那样，顶多也只够拿出来哄孩子玩玩，论好看远不如Seve，论格调，它甚至还比不上广场舞，真的就好像神经病在扭来扭去。
The seaweed dance makes people dance. In fact, it is just as good-looking. At most, it is only enough to coax children to play. It is far inferior to Seve in terms of beauty, and it is not even comparable to square dance in terms of style. It was as if a neurosis was writhing around.
所以，墨菲看完后，没有一点想学的意思。
So, after reading it, Murphy didn’t want to learn at all.
但后来，杨轶给她展示了一下这个舞的必杀奥义，墨菲就真地给杨轶跪了！
But later, Yang Yi showed her the mystery of this dance, and Murphy really knelt down to Yang Yi!
没错，是真的跪了！
Yes, I really knelt down!
晚上等曦曦和小曈曈睡觉后跪的！
Waiting for Xixi and Xiaojiao to kneel after sleeping at night!
没办法，打赌打输了，墨菲总得学一样东西不是吗？那个她都不忍直视的海草舞太神经了，墨菲学不了，她只能……
No way, the bet is lost, Murphy has to learn something, doesn’t it? The seaweed dance she couldn’t bear to look at was too nervous, Murphy couldn’t learn it, she could only…
……
…
夜深人静，杨轶和墨菲在交“流”的时候，总有一些单身狗睡不着，在手机上刷着微播。
In the dead of night, when Yang Yi and Murphy were “communicating”, there were always some single dogs who couldn’t sleep and swiped Weibo on their mobile phones.
比如穆钰诚，这个挨踢界钻石王老五，三年前的平安夜是单身狗，三年后的平安夜还是。
For example, Mu Yucheng, the fifth king of diamonds in the kicked world, was single on Christmas Eve three years ago, and still on Christmas Eve three years later.
说起来，穆钰诚年薪百万，有钱、人也不丑，虽然三十多了，那也是优质资源一个，家里人也想给他介绍对象，但来来去去凑了几对，一直就没能处成功，这也还真的很令人感到奇怪！
Speaking of which, Mu Yucheng has an annual salary of one million, and he is rich and not ugly. Although he is in his thirties, it is also a high-quality resource. His family also wants to introduce him to someone, but he came and went to collect a few. Yes, it has never been successful, which is really surprising!
甚至，公司里都有年轻的女孩子在暗暗打听他是不是gay了！
Even, there are young girls in the company secretly asking if he is gay!
当然，不说那么多穆钰诚的故事，他刷着微播，看到自己因为关注杨轶而顺带关注的墨菲的微播更新了一条视频动态，而且，看视频的封面，应该是杨轶抱着猫的视频。
Of course, without telling so many stories of Mu Yucheng, he swiped the microbroadcast and saw that Murphy’s microbroadcast, which he followed Yang Yi by the way, had updated a video update, and, looking at the cover of the video, It should be a video of Yang Yi holding a cat.
“卧槽，这个鸽子杨，出书的速度变慢，原因居然是去撸猫了！”穆钰诚义愤填膺，先转发，再看视频。
“Fuck, this pigeon Yang, the speed of publishing the book has slowed down, and the reason is actually to play cats!” Mu Yucheng was filled with indignation, and he forwarded it first, and then watched the video.
视频只有不到一分钟，开场的时候，穆钰诚便听到一阵节奏很快的爵士鼓的声音，当然，穆钰诚没啥音乐天赋，鼓声只是在耳边穿过，他的注意力都放在了正躺在杨轶双腿上的一只大饼脸、浑身灰黑灰黑的猫咪身上。
The video only lasted for less than a minute. At the beginning, Mu Yucheng heard the sound of a fast-paced jazz drum. Of course, Mu Yucheng had no musical talent. The drum sound just passed by his ears. All his attention was placed on a big-faced, gray-black cat lying on Yang Yi’s legs.
（小乖：喵？挠你哦！）
(Little girl: Meow? Scratching you!)
被杨轶抱着的小乖其实还是很可爱的，它满脸困惑，圆溜溜的眼睛左看看右看看，而小乖的那八瓣形状的小嘴儿，正好诠释了“懵逼”的这一词。
The little girl being held by Yang Yi is actually very cute, her face is full of confusion, her round eyes look left and right, and the little girl’s eight-petaled mouth just interprets ” Stupid” word.
我是谁？我在哪？我在做什么？
Who am I? where am I? What am I doing?
穆钰诚也觉得有点奇怪，杨轶在撸猫吗？但为啥他捏着猫的两个前爪？
Mu Yucheng also thinks it’s a bit strange, is Yang Yi playing a cat? But why is he holding the cat’s two front paws?
很快，一个逗比的歌声响起：“像一颗海草、海草……”
Soon, a funny song sounded: “Like a seaweed, seaweed…”
跟着歌声一起动起来的，是小乖的两个前腿！
The two front legs of Xiaojiao moved with the singing!
只见杨轶捏着小乖的两个前爪，动作很标准地一撩一绕，一只爪子呈叉腰状，一只爪子伸了出去，像招手一样一扭一扭！
I saw Yang Yi pinching Xiaojiao’s two front claws, and his movements were very standard. One claw was akimbo, and the other claw was stretched out, twisting and twisting like a beckoning!
这是什么鬼？
What the **** is this?
穆钰诚一时间没反应过来，一脸懵逼地看着小乖的“表演”。
Mu Yucheng didn’t react for a while, and looked at Xiaojiao’s “performance” with a dazed expression.
接着，“随波飘摇”的歌声响起，只见小乖的两个爪子被杨轶的大手捏着，在自己浑圆的身躯上自下而上地滑过，从脑袋两侧、两个耳朵边搓过，而小乖圆鼓鼓的脸蛋被挤成雪梨脸，眼睛都眯成一条缝……
Then, the song “Fly with the Waves” sounded, and I saw Xiaojiao’s two claws being pinched by Yang Yi’s big hands, sliding from bottom to top on her round body, from the sides of her head, the two The ears were rubbed, and the bulging face of the little girl was squeezed into a Sydney face, and her eyes were narrowed into a slit…
当穆钰诚看到小乖这一副不知道是享受还是无奈地放弃抵抗的表情时候，他很不人道地哈哈大笑了起来。
When Mu Yucheng saw Xiaojiao’s expression of not knowing whether to enjoy or reluctantly give up resistance, he laughed inhumanly.
“这尼玛，什么鬼啊？”穆钰诚忍不住笑着吐槽起来。
“What the **** is this Nima?” Mu Yucheng couldn’t help laughing and complaining.
这个舞，在小乖身上表现出来，魔性顿时增加了一百倍，穆钰诚根本想不到，猫居然可以“跳舞”，而且还跳得如此妖娆。
When this dance was shown on the little girl, her magical nature instantly increased a hundredfold. Mu Yucheng never imagined that a cat could “dance” and dance so enchantingly.
看它两个小爪子被捏着，柔软的肢体好像提线木偶一样被扭来扭去，还完美地表现出了人类的姿势，穆钰诚真的是觉得自己的三观被颠覆了！
Seeing that its two small claws were pinched, its soft limbs were twisted like a puppet, and it perfectly displayed a human posture. Mu Yucheng really felt that his three views had been subverted. !
原来猫也可以这么骚包啊！
It turns out that cats can be so flirtatious!
而且，看到后面，那些动作的新意稍微有些退却时候，穆钰诚还注意到，自己之前都没有注意，这只猫躺得姿势也好羞耻，灰里透白的大肚皮就这样仰着……
Also, when looking at the back, when the novelty of those movements retreated a little, Mu Yucheng also noticed that he hadn’t paid attention to it before, this cat was lying in such a shameful position, with a big belly that was gray and white. up…
但穆钰诚还是一点也没有觉得小乖可怜，就忍不住一直想哈哈笑。
But Mu Yucheng still didn’t feel sorry for the little girl at all, so he couldn’t help but want to laugh all the time.
谁让可怜的小乖，迫于杨爸爸的淫威，一直不敢挣扎——其实在此之前，它挣扎过，只是杨轶手太快了，包子都追不上的小乖居然逃不脱杨轶的五指山，小乖心如死灰，只能认命。
Who made the poor little girl, forced by Dad Yang’s arrogance, never dare to struggle – in fact, it struggled before, but Yang Yi’s hands were too fast, and the little girl who couldn’t catch up with the buns escaped. Without breaking away from Yang Yi’s Five Fingers Mountain, the little darling is like ashes and can only accept his fate.
瞧它眯着眼睛、生无可恋地承受着杨爸爸的“欺凌”的样子，看官们只觉得这猫好“受”，跳得舞很可爱，只会捧腹大笑，那里顾得上可怜、可怜这个小家伙？
Looking at the way it squinted and endured the “bullying” of Yang’s father, the officials only thought that the cat was very “suffering”, danced very cutely, and only laughed out loud. Can you take care of the poor, poor little guy?
当然，也不是没有，现在墨菲的这条微播下面，已经有认出小乖的书友们，在下面发起了评论：
Of course, it’s not that there is none. Now, under Murphy’s microcast, there are already book friends who recognize Xiaojiao and have started comments below:
“小乖保护协会在此表示强烈的抗议……唔，虽然刚才我也笑得肚子抽筋了！”
“The Little Good Protection Association expresses its strong protest here… um, although I laughed so hard just now that my stomach cramped!”
“杨大大，你对我们小乖做了什么？小乖，我可怜的小乖啊！”
“Da Yang, what have you done to our little girl? Little girl, my poor little girl!”
“咦？小乖居然没有反抗？这不合理啊！它不是整天欺负包子，性格很野的吗？”
“Huh? Little girl didn’t resist? That’s unreasonable! Isn’t he bullying Baozi all day and has a wild personality?”
“夭寿了！小乖，没想到你是这样的小乖……”
“It’s too long! Little girl, I didn’t expect you to be such a little girl…”
穆钰诚没有看评论，他是看完这个视频后，还忍不住一个人在那里傻乐了好一会儿。
Mu Yucheng didn’t read the comments. After watching this video, he couldn’t help being alone for a while.
过了一会儿，他才一边笑着摇头，一边再转发一次这条微播：“好吧，看完这个视频，才知道原来传说中的撸猫这么有意思，忽然好想养一只猫啊！”
After a while, he smiled and shook his head, and then reposted this microcast: “Okay, after watching this video, I realized that the legendary cat licking is so interesting, and suddenly I really want to raise a cat. Ah!”
咦，重点怎么会在猫身上？
Hey, why is the focus on cats?
……
…
穆钰诚的关注点比较奇葩，正常人的关注点还是在这首歌和这个魔性的舞蹈上。
Mu Yucheng’s focus is rather strange, and the focus of normal people is still on this song and this magical dance.
网友们纷纷评论：
Netizens commented:
“完了，被这首歌洗脑了，明明这首歌不好听的，我还想喷一下杨轶不务正业的，但忽然发现，我一整晚脑袋里都是海草海草，怎么破？”
“It’s over, I’ve been brainwashed by this song. It’s obviously not good. I wanted to spit on Yang Yi’s unprofessional work, but I suddenly found that seaweed and seaweed were in my head all night. How can I break it?”
“太魔性了，这个视频循环播放了好几十遍，居然还没看腻，看着这猫享受的样子，就忍不住想笑，怎么办？”
“It’s so magical. I’ve played this video on a loop dozens of times, but I’m still not tired of watching it. I can’t help but want to laugh watching this cat enjoying it. What should I do?”
“这个舞叫什么啊？好想给我们家猫咪也来上一段。”
“What’s the name of this dance? I really want to do a dance for our cat.”
“楼上的，你们家猫咪表示：不，我们不约！”
“Upstairs, your cat said: No, we won’t make an appointment!”
“还是杨轶有才啊！真不知道这个脑袋怎么长的，随便弄一首歌，弄一个舞，都能火！”
“It’s still Yang Yi’s talent! I really don’t know how this head grows. If you make any song or dance, you can catch fire!”
“有谁注意到这个视频背后墨菲的笑声了吗？难道只有我一个人觉得这个视频还教了我们一手用猫来撩妹的技巧吗？”
“Has anyone noticed Murphy’s laughter behind this video? Am I the only one who thinks this video also teaches us how to use cats to seduce girls?”
“完了，我笑了一晚上，第二天黑着眼眶拿着这个视频到班里给同学看，现在全班同学都在笑，停不下来的那种，老师都给我们整懵圈了！”
“It’s over, I laughed all night, and the next day I took this video to the class with dark eyes and showed it to my classmates. Now the whole class is laughing, the kind that can’t stop, the teacher makes us stunned. Circled!”
……
…
于是，踩着年尾巴，小乖在网络上小火了一把。
So, stepping on the tail of the year, Xiaoguo became popular on the Internet.
只是，这些网友们不知道，杨轶和墨菲只是将小乖的“猫舞海草”视频放出来给他们乐呵乐呵，自己却将曦曦和兰馨两个小姑娘的海草舞视频给藏了起来。
It’s just that these netizens don’t know that Yang Yi and Murphy just released the little girl’s video of “Cat Dancing with Seaweed” for them to laugh at, but they put the seaweed of the two little girls Xixi and Lan Xin. The dance video is hidden.
那个视频里，两个小姑娘跳得各有特色！
In that video, the two little girls dance in their own way!
曦曦两个手叠在一块，如海草般动作轻盈，细细的小腰肢扭得活力十足，再看小姑娘盈盈带笑的双眸、仿佛能捏出水来的小脸蛋，真的是可爱得让人想把她抱走。
Xixi’s two hands are folded together, her movements are as light as seaweed, her slender waist is twisted with vitality, and then look at the little girl’s smiling eyes and the little face that seems to be able to squeeze water, really She’s so cute that you want to take her away.
兰馨也不赖啊！小姑娘跳得憨态可掬，尤其是她两个小手模仿着海草在身前摆动，自己圆鼓鼓的小肚子也跟着扭起来，这股可爱劲儿，也是让人喜爱不已！
Lan Xin is not bad either! The little girl danced naively, especially her two little hands imitating the seaweed swaying in front of her, and her bulging belly also twisted. This cuteness is also endearing!
而且~IndoMTL.com~别看兰馨胖，她也是继承了她妈妈漂亮的五官，脸蛋也是美人的胚子，大眼睛晶莹明亮、小鼻子圆圆翘翘、小嘴巴也是小巧玲珑，而且皮肤粉粉嫩嫩的，如同在牛奶里泡过的一样！
And ~IndoMTL.com~ Don’t look at Lan Xin’s fat, she also inherited her mother’s beautiful facial features, her face is also the embryo of a beauty, her big eyes are bright and bright, her small nose is round and upturned, her small mouth is also small and exquisite, and her skin is small and exquisite. Pink and tender, as if soaked in milk!
如果只是惊鸿一瞥，或许还有一些被她的身材影响了判断，但越看会觉得这个小胖妞很耐看，圆圆润润、软软糯糯的样子，也是很讨人喜欢的啊！
If it’s just a glimpse, maybe there are some people who are judged by her figure, but the more you look, the more you will think that this little fat girl is very attractive, round, soft and waxy, also very flattering what!
视频里，这两个小姑娘把这个舞的可爱发挥得淋漓尽致，而且瞧她们俩认真的模样，也是只剩下了可爱，没有一点原版疯癫的感觉！
In the video, these two little girls brought out the cuteness of this dance to the fullest, and looking at their serious looks, there is only cuteness left, not the original crazy feeling!
但这个视频，杨轶才不会发出来。
But this video, Yang Yi will not post it.
毕竟这个舞还是有点上不了台面的，自己家人玩得开心就好，还是不要拿出来给那些正人君子去批判。
After all, this dance is still a little off the table, and it’s good for your family to have a good time, so don’t take it out for those decent gentlemen to criticize.
这可不是危言耸听，杨轶发小乖的视频没几天，就有乐评家拿“海草舞”这首歌出来，批判杨轶成名后的自甘堕落，说他只知道玩弄一些洗脑神曲，丧失了对音乐的正常审美……
This is not alarmist. A few days after Yang Yi posted the video of Xiaogai, some music critics released the song “Seaweed Dance”, criticizing Yang Yi’s self-indulgent degeneration after he became famous, saying that he only knew how to play some brainwashing songs. , lost the normal aesthetic of music…
当然，杨轶是不会去理会这些评论的。
Of course, Yang Yi will ignore these comments.